By: William Henry
So, you are married and you are a father. Your children have joined the rebellion and you have NO unified front with your wife to win the battle because she doesn’t respect you. Your first thought is the reason your children are rebelling is because your wife doesn’t respect you. She doesn’t respect you because she doesn’t understand you. She doesn’t understand you because she doesn’t listen. You are the husband, man of the house in your mind. You know how things should be if only they would listen. Well cowboy, it’s YOUR fault! You are to blame. Not her, YOU. Suck it up buttercup- you are the reason your family is out of control, not your wife. Your wife isn’t out of control because she doesn’t respect you, she is out of control because you refuse to be a man. You children are out of control because you are not the king of the kingdom God created you to be.
When we examine the fall of Adam in the garden, we are quick to blame the woman. We say “well, if only Eve hadn’t eaten the forbidden fruit.” Much is the same in our own life. We pass blame because the hardest thing for a man to do is admit he is wrong. The woman doesn’t respect us because we refuse to accept responsibility and since acceptance of responsibility is the only path to maturity, she treats us like a mother to a child. She tries to cover us and take up our slack. She does this because the hardest thing for a woman to do is let her man fail.
It’s STILL your fault! Let’s look at Adam and Eve for a second. Read carefully to understand exactly how this happened and then see how it affects our home life.
Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?”
And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden,
but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’”
But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die.
For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.
Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.
And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden.
When we examine the passage, we notice quite a few things. First, Adam and Eve were given instructions from God NOT to eat from the tree. He gave them dominion, but instructed them to leave one tree alone. It was a very specific instruction. As we read further, we learn it was for their benefit. We also see that the devil was doing his best to conceal the truth through deception and playing into every Word God had spoken, twisting it to fit his agenda. Much as we do when we have a disagreement or want to sway someone to our point of view.
Then, we see that Adam was with her. It wasn’t Eve eating alone in the woods, they were together. Adam didn’t quote God’s Word back to her and reiterate the instruction. He didn’t guide, guard or govern his wife. He allowed her to fall and didn’t intercede to help her. He went right along with the plan to disobey God. Some principles God gives us is to minister to our wives and family. Communication is the basis of life! We must communicate with God! We must communicate with our wives. We must listen to them. Listening is ministry! We must guide, guard and govern our families. The character of the kingdom emanates from the character of the king. We must pray with our wives and children. Prayer brings intimacy. You become intimate with who you pray with, to whom you pray to, and whom you pray for. These are all principles taught throughout the Bible.
The Majoring in Men curriculum helps us to understand God’s principles for our lives. These principles and so much more can be found inside these books as we are lead through the Bible to understand God’s will in our lives. When we start to examine our own families, we often see ourselves failing because we don’t understand how to right the ship. We are lost in our own understanding as we either repeat our fathers or we try to imitate the TV fathers we have adopted as our role models.
However, we have the best Father we could ever hope for if we just look to God. We have a true model for manhood if we look to Jesus Christ. When we start to understand our failure, we can truly repent. Repentance is the key to unlocking God’s promises for our lives. We are all Prodigal sons. We are all found in rebellion. In order to get back to our Father, we must bring ourselves out of Rebellion and find ourselves in ruin. Then we can repent. Through repentance, we find reconciliation and ultimately, restoration. We all desire to be restored in our relationship with God. Being restored with God is the only way to right the ship and get our families back. It is the only way to find true Manhood. Manhood and Christlikeness are synonymous.
We are to Guide, guard and govern our families. We are to be the spiritual leaders of our households. Most of us start out as cowards. We are too afraid to accept responsibility because we are immature. In order to mature, we must first accept the responsibility that God has already placed on us as husbands and fathers. We must stop being cowards and strengthen ourselves. Strengthen our relationship with God. We must REPENT!
Peace is the umpire to the will of God. He is not going to tell you every single answer to every single decision. He calls us to be men! To be men of action! To be leaders! Leaders don’t sit around and wait for every answer. We don’t go back and forth in fear of making the wrong decisions. We strengthen ourselves with God’s principles. We utilize these principles and the wisdom from God to make decisions. The only true source of wisdom is God! He imparts His Spirit through the Holy Helper inside of each of us just as Jesus promised when we choose to accept the gift of salvation. Through Him, He offers wisdom to aid us in becoming the leaders He destined us to be.
Real Men are not men of happenstance, they destine their decisions. I know I am not going to commit adultery because I have already determined to protect myself from those situations that could lead to that. I guard myself through decisions beforehand. I do not commit crimes of opportunity because I do not give myself the opportunity. I flea from temptation and run to my loving God. I made the decisions long before the situations presented themselves by strengthening myself. This is the mission God has for us.
If we desire wisdom, we must seek Him and ask! If we desire to understand His principles and we want to know how to hear Him, we need to understand his patterns. We must know Him intimately. How do we know Him intimately? We pray. We communicate! We pray often and fervently. We talk with God and walk with him regularly. We strengthen ourselves in Him as David did. What is the best way to fight the devil? Arm yourself with God’s Word. When Jesus was in the wilderness and Satan came to temp Him, Jesus quoted scripture. He said “ It is written….” The devil fled from Him at God’s Word. This is the same for you!
It is time for you to stop being a coward! It is time for you to repent and claim your victory! God has already given you the path to it through His only begotten Son. Jesus died for you and raised Himself from death to offer you the ultimate prize of victory and eternal life. Eternal life doesn’t start at the death of your body, it begins when you choose to pick up the Sword of His Word! You can be a coward and lose everything God brings before you, or you can toughen up and become the soldier Christ has called you to be. You can fight and through Jesus Christ, win every battle. God has offered the Sword and Armor, you just need to pick it up and make it happen. Be a Real Man! Be a Man of Character. Truth and reality are synonymous. Either you are a Real Man of God, or a quitter! Either you are a man of Character or you aren’t. You are either Courageous Disciple maker or you are a Coward.
Only you can make the choice, God knows the truth! Time to make a stand for your marriage, your family, and your community!