By: William Henry
What is one of the hardest things for a woman to do?
The answer is letting her man fail. It takes a lot for a woman to step back and let her man fall on his face. Women often find themselves married to a grown up child. A man living in mediocrity. Because men have such a difficult time admitting they are wrong, the hardest thing for a man to do, they refuse to seek help. In order to get help, you must first step out of denial. We find this concept throughout any 12 step program. The first step is to admit there is a problem.
In Christianity, the problem is sin. Men must first admit they are sinners. For a man to admit sin, he must to be willing, as men, to admit he is wrong. The admission of sin leads to the ability to repent. Through repentance, a man can find his way to reconciliation and ultimately restoration with God.
We have all heard the adage that behind every successful man is a strong woman. This is true for most of us. The issue here is, that woman has to be willing to let her man fail and support and encourage him through his failure. Being a champion doesn’t mean you don’t fail, it means you never quit. A lot of men are quitters. We learn to quit from an early age. We play a game and someone cheats, we quit. We don’t play harder and forgive, we simply quit, grab our glove and our ball and go home. We grow into men and we remain quitters.
Women behind us, want us to be successful and out of love a woman will do her best to keep us from failing. Often times taking on responsibilities to lead the man of the house in order to prevent the family from failing. Trying to cover a gambling addition, addiction to alcohol or drugs, refuse to admit her man is cheating on her etc.
As men, we must accept responsibility. For us to be pulled from rebellion, we have to find ruin. The only way we can find ruin is through failure. If our women continue to cover for us, we never find our way back into ruin. It’s when we are finally placed in ruin that we have come out of rebellion. Then we are able to repent and find our way back to restoration.
This is extremely hard for most men because we refuse to admit we are wrong. Many of us have women behind us who refuse to let us fail and continue to cover us and take up for us. We are never forced to admit we are wrong and leave our rebellious state. Therefore, we continue in rebellion and we continue to force our wives and children to struggle.
Ladies, this is for you. Its time to be honest and offer truth through your love. Its time for you to let your men fail. For you to let them realized their rebellion and failure. Stop allowing them to hide behind you. You didn’t marry your son, you don’t want a child to raise your children. Its time for you to step aside and let your men see we all fall short of the glory of God. We are all sinners, every man in existence suffers the same sin sickness as Adam. We are not to blame you, it is not your fault. We abdicate our roles as husbands and fathers when we pass blame on to you. Stop allowing us to do that. You are not our mom, you are our co-heirs in His kingdom. You are there to support and love us through our failures, not prevent them. We need to fail to find true success. We need to fail to find repentance. We need to be given the opportunity to see we can only change when we allow God to have His way in us.
Men, step up. The buck stops with you! Do not blame your wife, it is your responsibility to step up and be a man for her. To be a man for your children. TO be a man for your communities. Society wants to tell us that being a man is outdated. We find men who struggle with their sexual orientation or their sexual identity because it is not longer “ Cool” to be a man. We see men with man-buns and playing children’s games because it is no longer hip to be manly. We want men to be in touch with their feminine side rather than ask men to be men.
Regardless of the image society has created for men around us, God had a predestined plan for us to remain as men. For us to guide, guard and govern. For us to be leaders, but servant leaders. Not dictators, but loving providers. God calls us to love our wives and our children enough to teach them how to admit they are sinners by first admitting we are. We are called to stand up and live as Christ demonstrated. We are to lose ourselves for His namesake. We are to realize the truth, manhood and Christlikeness are synonymous.
What does that mean? Be a man of your word. Be a man of determination. Stop passing blame and being a victim. Stand up when someone does something to wrong you, not to fight but to forgive. Own your mistakes. Apologize to your wife when you mistreat her. Tell your children you love them through your actions by not provoking them to anger. Be thankful. Demonstrate to your family that you are thankful for all that God has provided. Don’t lie to yourself and expect everyone to thank you for what you have done. All glory goes to Him. You have because He gave. You are because He created. You will because He desires. Its time for you to stand up and be accountable. Stop falling on your face and looking to your wife to clean your wounds. Stop living the lie that you don’t owe God everything. He sent His Son to die on the cross for you and your family. He raised Christ from death to offer you His victory.
Ladies- If you are prepared to help your husbands, if you truly love your husband and your family- let him fail. Encourage him to seek Jesus and to find his way to true manhood. Encourage him to realize none of us can do it alone, we all need Christ. We all fall short of the glory of God.
Men- Stop cheating your family of the victory God planned for them from the beginning. Stop cheating yourself by believing the lies of the enemy. Stop being a coward and step up. Admit you are wrong and need help. Stand for your family, stand for your wife and children. Stand for the men around you and be the leader you are called to be. Stand for Jesus!
If you are ready to admit you are wrong, wives if you are tired of your husband living in mediocrity, point them towards Christ. If you are ready for a change, or if you are a woman ready for your husband to find a path to victory, we can help. Join us at www.mcimen.org. If you are in the Burleson Texas area, join us for our Man Church service at 7:30pm on Tuesday nights at Metroplex Family Church. You can find more information on our website or our FaceBook Page. We would love to meet you and help you. We are here to serve and to help you find the better man God has planned for you. Get your head out of the sand and stand up for your family! Time to be the man you are called to be!